If you were to sit down and take a hard look at the relationships that you have with those around you, they would fall into one of three categories.
1. I am agreeing with that person.
2. I am putting up with that person.
3. Somewhere in between 1 and 2.
Whether the relationship is with a co-worker, a boss, a family member or a friend, life goes much smoother when we are in agreement.
Misunderstandings, which by their very nature prevent agreement, damage relationships. Many misunderstandings stem from the fact that we listen to people based on OUR point of view.
We PUT UP WITH what we perceive as rude, wordy, dull or inflexible people and we allow these perceptions to poison our relationships, simply because we fail to consider that their "style" may be different than our own. On the other hand, we do expect people to treat us and listen to us based on WHO WE ARE ... but often we don't return the favor by treating and listening to others based on WHO THEY ARE. Perhaps they're PUTTING UP WITH US too!!
Coming into agreement is our goal and improving understanding among people is a way to achieve that goal. To better understand others, we must consider anything "negative" or "not constructive" and determine what they really want to say. Most people don't want to offend or annoy us and realizing that, we are able to focus on "what" they said and "why" they said it, rather than being turned off by "how" they said it. We need to get our focus off of ourselves and onto the other person.
The principles learned in the Management By Strengths program provide us with tools we can use to improve any relationship. Past tensions should not prevent us from approaching our relationships in a more "considerate" way. Agreement may not come easily on substantive issues, but if we do not get to a point of considering the other person, agreement may never come at all. We'll simply go on putting up with people that we could be in agreement with.
How would you classify your relationships with others?
Putting Up With vs. Agreeing With
Management By Strengths - A Team Building Program
601 N. Mur-Len / #16, Olathe KS 66062